


Evermore

by jeankirsteinhighcouncil



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, College, Consent, Declarations Of Love, Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Party, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Romance, Spit As Lube, Switching, Travel, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeankirsteinhighcouncil/pseuds/jeankirsteinhighcouncil
Summary: Y/n and Jean Kirstein go to the same college and end up working at the same bookstore. Things get a little spicy, as you can imagine. This is more of a slow burn, but with some world-dominating Oscar-winning smut.
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	1. WILLOW

“Y/N! Stop tainting the merchandise and get over here!”

I groan and reluctantly close my book, getting up from the large armchair in the corner of the store. I suppose Emma and Mr. Knightley will have to wait until later, I think as I place the book back in the Jane Austen section.

I walk over to my boss at the front of the store. I’m too focused on the grumpy old man to even register the figure next to him. 

“What’s up, Dimo?” I ask, grinning.

“Oh. What’s up Dimo,” he parrots, repeating my unprofessional words with a scoff. He doesn’t press the issue and instead turns and gestures at the figure beside him. “New employee. Train him,” he says bluntly. He gives me a thumbs up and pats my shoulder as he walks away.

Face to face with the new recruit, I was astonished that I had completely disregarded his presence.

“Hi, I’m y/n,” I say as I hold out my hand. Smiling wryly, he takes my hand and firmly shakes it. “Jean,” he responds. He’s pretty tall, I have to crane my neck to look at his face. His height would’ve felt intimidating if he didn’t seem so laid back. I watch as he runs a hand through his long sandy hair, catching a glimpse of an undercut. 

“Sooooooo… Are you gonna show me around or not?” He says, after a few moments. 

“Oh...uh...y-yeah...hahah..sorry, let’s go.” I hadn’t realized how hard I was staring at him. 

A wide grin creeps across his face as he watches me stammer. I quickly turn away as I feel my face growing hot. His stare is simultaneously bright yet calculating, as though he can see right through me. I’m feeling a little nervous, and as I start to show him around the store I feel his eyes lingering on me. 

“Alright,” I say. “Well, this is it…”

I wave my hand at the shelves, lazily acknowledging the bookshelves around us. I gesture to the other side of the store to the coffee bar, where people sit reading, talking, and working on laptops. 

“People get books. We sell said books. People order coffee. We make the coffee. And sometimes,” I say, leaning into him conspiratorially, “they ask us for our opinions. It’s a truly riveting job, I must say.” 

He laughs as we continue walking through the stacks to the carts of books waiting to be put on shelves.

“These here are books. You gotta put ‘em on the shelf where they belong. We organize them by genre, then by author’s last name. You do know the alphabet, right?” I ask, squinting up at him.

Jean looks at me in mock confusion. “Wait, is that the one with the letters or the numbers…?” 

“Exactly.” I reply, eliciting another giggle from him. “So, I mean, that’s basically it. Bathrooms are down there,” I point down a set of narrow stairs, “and we have to kick the customers out at 8:30 sharp. If they’re still here at 8:31, we lock them in the basement and leave them for the ghost of Sylvia Plath. Any questions?” I finish, leaning against the cash register.

“Yeah, one thing.” He replies, grinning down at me. “What exactly does Sylvia do to them? Just in case anyone pisses me off.”

I laugh, saying, “it’s a trade secret. You’ll know when Sylvia wants you to know.”

Jean smiles, but before he can say anything I turn and walk to the cash register.

“Now, if that’s all, I’ll show you how to use the cash register so you don’t get your fingers chopped off in it.” 

The next half hour passes pretty uneventfully. Jean basically stands back and watches while I man the register, make a few cups of coffee, and return books to their respective shelves. Even though we aren’t talking that much, I can feel his eyes burning a hole through the back of my head. When finally the last customer leaves, I close and lock the door, letting out a sigh. 

“How did it go, you two?” I hear Dimo say as he emerges from his office. “Hate each other already?”

I laugh, glancing over at Jean. I find him already looking at me with a curious expression on his face that I can’t quite place. 

“Yes Dimo, we’re both assholes. We hate each other. You’re gonna have to hold us back when we see each other, or there’s gonna be trouble.” I say seriously. 

“You damn smartass,” Dimo grumbles, turning away from us. “Well, I can close up tonight. You two go home. Try not to get kidnapped or anything, I guess.”

“Thanks, Dimo. If we do, I know exactly who to call.” I say, gathering up my bag and coat. 

I walk outside into the freezing wind, pulling on my coat and hat. I hear Jean close the door behind us, his footsteps crunching in the snow. 

“Is he always like that?” I hear Jean say. I laugh, falling into step with him.

“Yeah, pretty much. He’s just kinda like a grumpy old uncle who means well.” I reply, smiling down at my shoes. “Anyways, what’s your story? Which dorm are you in?” I ask, glancing up at his face. 

“I live in Northrup. What about you?”

“Rose hall,” I reply. 

“Oh, word.” He says.

We stay silent for a few moments as we walk through the dark and frigid campus. I have to take several steps to match one of his long strides, my short legs barely keeping up with him.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he says, “This snow is pretty resplendent, huh?”

I look up at him, confused by his weird comment. “Uhh… what?”

He looks down at me, biting back a laugh. “Sorry, hahah. I have this app that gives you a new word to use every day, and resplendent was today’s. It’s totally random, but yeah…”

I squint at him, thinking, what the fuck is this man on? He needs an app to tell him to use words? Okay…

“I respect it… do you get anything from using the words? Like are there points or something?” I ask him.

“Uhh… no, not really,” he laughs, seeing the expression on my face. “I know, there’s not really a point to it. It’s just nice to be smart, I guess? I don’t know if you can relate to that at all…”

I laugh again, saying, “nah, I’m all about fuckin bitches and gettin money. On the outside I might seem like a regular college student, but I’ve actually never read a single book in my life.” A weak attempt at a quip, I knew that. He definitely knew that, but he still laughed. 

We reach the door of my dorm building and we both stop, me searching in my bag for my ID. I pull it out, and Jean looks over my shoulder to try and see my picture. It’s from a year ago, when I was still in my Amy Winehouse-wannabe phase. 

“Damn, that eyeliner is intense,”Jean says, still looking over my shoulder. 

“Yeah, I was really into doing eyeliner last year… I actually got pretty good at it.” I say, staring down at my picture. I feel Jean move out from behind me to stand directly in front of me. I look up at him to see him squinting down at me, trying to see something.

“What?” I ask, kind of alarmed at how close he is and how intensely he’s looking at me.

“But you’re not wearing any eyeliner now,” He observes, still staring at my eyes.

“Oh, yeah. It just got to be kind of a lot to wear everyday, and I’ve just been lazy lately. But, I don’t know, maybe I’ll bust it out again one day…”

“Well, let me know when that day is, because I have to say I would love to see it.” He says, smiling at me. I blush, turning towards the door. 

“Hey, wait. I don’t have your number.” He stops me, digging around in his pocket for his phone. He pulls it out and grins as he watches me type in my number. I hand it back to him and walk towards the door, turning back to wave at him. He’s still grinning, and raises a hand in response. 

“I’ll see you around.” He calls after me. 

“I don’t doubt it, seeing as we work together.” I reply. 

He laughs and saunters away, his tall figure easily discernible amongst the snow. 

I watch him go for a few moments, then hurry into the warmth of my dorm building. 

As I close the door of my room, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out as I kick off my snowy boots and coat, seeing a text from a random number. 

“hey it’s jean :-P” I read.

“heyyy” I text back.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, right?” He says.

“yeah, unless i miraculously turn into a flesh eating monster XD” I respond. 

“damn, without me?” He jokes.

“lol u down to start the apocalypse w me?? haha jk….. unless 😳”

“so it’s a date?? 😳”

I smile to myself and type, “hell yea it is”


	2. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

“Hey, Dimo, is it okay if I clock out a little early today? This place is kind of dead and I’m supposed to see my friends in a bit.” The bookstore was practically empty by now, filled only by me, Dimo, and two of the cafe workers.

“That’s fine. Just be sure to get here on time on Monday. Big event, remember?” As surly and aggressive as the man is, he’s surprisingly lax about things like store policy and work hours. I suppose that’s why I like working at the bookstore, other than the fact that I get paid to look at books all day. 

“Will do, boss,” I say, giving him a mock salute. 

I quickly grab my stuff and step outside, feeling the harsh whip of the cold winter air on my face. I check my phone for the time. 

05:09 pm. Shit.

I only have less than an hour before I promised to meet Eren and Armin at their dorm to set up for their annual holiday party. In that time, I have to get back to my room, shower, get dressed, do my makeup, and make my way over to their place. Great…

I shower at lightning speed and sprint back to my room. I hastily rummage through my drawers for something decent to wear. I definitely don’t want to end up overdressed, but I also don’t particularly want to look like I rolled out of bed. I settle for a graphic top and some Dickies that hug my ass just right. 

I grab my makeup bag and sit down in front of my mirror, clumsily pushing aside the things littering my desk. I dab some concealer on and darken my eyes with some eyeshadow. I quickly throw on some liner and mascara, and smear a little dark red lipstick onto my lips. 

I check the time on my phone. 5:55. Fuck.

“u still on for tonight?” I quickly text Jean. I had invited him to the party a few days ago, but I wasn’t sure if he was actually gonna come.

“oh for sure” His reply comes back a few seconds later.

“ok! see u there :)” I place my phone back on my desk and finish getting ready. I look in the mirror, giving my outfit a once-over before putting my boots on and heading out the door.

After a brief walk through the quad, I arrive at Eren and Armin’s dorm building. I make my way downstairs to the basement where the party is. When I reach the bottom of the steps, I’m immediately met with shouts of welcome. 

“Y/N!! IT’S BEEN TOO LONG!!” Eren exclaims dramatically, pulling me into an uncomfortably tight hug. I lightly hug him back, trying to catch my breath. He finally relaxes his arms and pulls away, ruffling my hair. 

“Eren. I saw you last night,” I sigh, trying to put my hair back in place.

“The point still stands” he retorts, tugging on a piece of my hair. I stick my tongue out at him before walking into the basement to find Armin. I spot him in a corner of the room, organizing various bottles of alcohol and chips on a big folding table. 

“Do you need any help?” I ask, walking over to him.

“Hey! And yeah, if you don’t mind, could you run up to our room and bring the bag of cups down for us? Mikasa should be in there already, so just knock and she’ll let you in,” he instructs me with a smile, pouring chips into a big bowl. 

“Sure thing!” I say, taking off my coat and putting it down on the nearest chair with my bag. I hurry upstairs to the second floor where I know Mikasa’s room is. I get to the door, panting, and knock. After a moment the door opens, revealing Mikasa in a short black dress and a red choker, her hair falling perfectly around her face.

“Hey gurl!!! ” I exclaim, pulling her into a hug. 

“Heyyy!!” She replies, smiling. “Are you here for the cups?” 

“Yeah, Armin sent me.” I say, walking into the room with her. 

“They're by the window,” She points towards a big bag of solo cups sitting on the windowsill. I pick them up as Mikasa grabs some more bottles of vodka and a few bongs from under Eren’s bed. We head down the stairs, chatting about the party and our classes. When we reach the basement I head over to Armin’s table, handing the cups to him. For the next half hour or so I help Armin set up the basement as Mikasa and Eren sit on the couch, passing a joint between the two of them. 

As the party gets going people trickle in and out of the basement, some talking, dancing, drinking, and smoking. I mingle with everyone, saying hi to familiar faces and chatting with some new ones. I’m kind of tipsy by this point, having had a substantial amount of “Eren’s Special Punch.” 

Jean hasn’t shown up yet, and I’m starting to worry if it was weird to invite him. I mean, what if he was just too nice to say no? What if he thinks I’m totally annoying and he’s trying to figure out a way to get out of coming? What if he stands me up? What if…

I shut my eyes tight, trying to block out all of my anxieties and just enjoy myself. I take a deep breath and grab another cup of punch, downing it in one go. I grab Mikasa's hand and we start dancing, laughing and singing along as I try to keep myself from thinking. After a few songs we collapse on the couch, panting and exhausted. I ask Mikasa for something to drink, and she hands me her cup. I take a huge swig and sputter, my throat burning as straight vodka slides down.

“Jesus, Mikasa! Give me some warning!” I gasp, eyes watering. 

She shrugs her shoulders, laughing at my reaction. “I can handle my juice, babe.”

I roll my eyes and feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out, seeing a text from Jean. 

“im here :)” It says. 

I look around from the couch, trying to see if he’s making his way down the stairs. When I don’t see him, I text back “ok awesome! head down the stairs to the basement and we’re all down here”

A text comes back almost immediately, reading, “can u come get me lol”

I roll my eyes, then jump up from the couch. When Mikasa asks where I’m going, I say, “gotta get Jean, he’s upstairs. Can you hold my drink?” 

Mikasa raises her eyebrows at my eagerness to see him, saying, “alright then, go on. I got your drink.” 

Jean’s POV  
I probably shouldn't have come tonight. I won’t have anyone to talk to except for y/n, and she’ll probably get bored with me. I spent about half an hour convincing myself to come and now I’m just standing in the lobby. 

I look up as I hear footsteps approaching and my heart skips a beat. Y/n is walking towards me, looking like I’ve never seen her before. Her face is slightly flushed and she stumbles a bit as she makes her way towards me. I’m sure she’s been drinking. She smiles hugely and skips the last couple of steps towards me, stopping just a few inches away. I can see every line on her lips. I smile, feeling my chest constrict slightly as I take her all in. She’s wearing a pretty normal outfit, but I am hyper aware of how close her body is to mine. We start walking towards the stairs and I’m trying to keep up with the conversation as I fight to keep myself from staring. 

I’m definitely sticking with her tonight, I think, unable to stop myself from brushing her back with my hand. I want to keep it there for longer, but I drop it as we reach the basement where throngs of people are dancing, drinking, and talking. I feel her grab my hand and tug me around to the space behind the stairs, onto a couch that has somehow been crammed in there. I love the feeling of her hand, soft and small against my skin. I can’t get enough. 

y/n’s POV  
I run up the stairs, slowing down as I get to the top. I look around in the lobby for Jean and see him standing off to the side, hair dripping from melting snow and cheeks flushed. 

“Hey weirdo,” I call, slightly skipping towards him. He glances up and smiles at me, looking me up and down. His eyebrows raise slightly, as though shocked to see me like this. I’m sure my makeup and hair is messed up. Still, there’s something in his eyes I can’t quite place. I jerk my head towards the stairs, where the music is coming from. 

“Shall we?” I ask, bumping my shoulder into his. 

“We shall.” He says.

As we walk down the stairs I hear him say, “sorry for making you get me. I just don’t really know anyone else here.”

I look at him in surprise. “Are you a freshman?” I ask, puzzled.

“No, I transferred this year and I guess I just haven’t made that many friends yet. I haven’t really found people I… clicked with,” He trails off, glancing at me. 

“Well, you can stick with me tonight, if you want.” I offer, smiling at him. 

“That… that would be great,” He says, touching the small of my back lightly with his hand. Where he touched instantly starts buzzing, as though electricity is flowing from his hand. 

I snag his hand and pull him to the one deserted couch. He sits down but I remain standing, asking if he wants anything to drink. 

“Nah, I’m fine, thanks. I’m more of a smoker anyway.” He replies, looking up at me.

“Okay, cool. I’m just gonna go grab my drink, I’ll be right back.” I say, winking at him. “I promise I’m not deserting you.” 

He laughs, and I turn around to snag Mikasa’s attention. I walk to her and she gives me my drink back, looking over at Jean. 

“So that’s the new coworker?” She asks, looking him up and down. 

“Yep! I’m gonna hang out with him for a bit.” I say brightly. 

“Have fun then. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She calls after me as I walk away.

I roll my eyes and plop down on the couch next to Jean, our knees almost touching. 

“So why did you transfer here? Where were you last?” I ask, taking a sip of my drink.

He grins, watching me. “I was at this small state college near home last year, but that school sucked ass so I decided to transfer.”

“Why’d it suck?” I ask, turning more to face him. Our knees touch and I feel the warmth from his knee seeping into mine. 

“I don’t know, they all had sticks up their asses. It just wasn’t the place for me.” He answers unenthusiastically. There’s a moment of silence where we both watch the people around us dancing. Then he says, “What’s your major?” 

“Russian lit. How about you?”

“Damn.” He says, looking me up and down, eyebrows raised. “Art history.”

“Damn.” I echo, smiling.

“I honestly don’t even know what the fuck Russian lit is.” He says.

“Well.” I say seriously, “It’s literature, but get this: it’s Russian.”

He laughs, hitting his knee on mine. Again, his touch seems to set off little fireworks all over my body. “I know that much, at least. I’m not as dumb as I look, you know.” He says, still giggling.

“That’s news to me.” I reply, “And here I thought you were just another pretty face.” 

His lips twitch as I say this, curling into a smirk. “Well, I am gorgeous. But I also have brains to match the beauty.” 

I scoff as I take another sip from my cup. “Why’d you get a job so late in the semester?” I ask.

“I was lazy as hell first semester and kept putting off getting one, but obviously I ran out of money, so when I saw there was a job at the bookstore, I jumped on it. ”

“Ah, naturally.” I say, shaking my head knowingly. 

“You still haven’t told me what you do in Russian lit.” He says, running a hand through his hair. My eyes follow it as his hair slips through his fingers. I feel the urge to follow his hand with mine, but I resist. “I mean, do you all just sit around and talk about who was more fucked up, Tolstoy or Pushkin?” 

I laugh, saying, “I mean, yeah, but it’s a lot of other stuff too. We have to read and write in Russian, and learn about Russian culture, blah blah blah. It sounds boring but it’s actually pretty cool.” 

“I don’t believe you. But, to each their own.” He says, smiling. 

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Art History. I just know that shit gets fucking boring.”

“Yeah, it can be. But if you find one artist or time period or movement that interests you, it’s totally awesome. You’ll see. We should go to the museum here sometime. The one on campus is actually pretty good.” He says, looking at me. 

I nod excitedly, saying, “Yeah! That would be totally awesome.” 

I suddenly realize how bad I have to pee, having had so much damn punch. “I’ll be right back, sorry, I have to pee.” 

Jean nods, smiling and sitting back farther into the couch. I hurry to the bathroom, thinking about his knee touching mine. I realize that every time we’ve touched my body has been sent into panic mode, overwhelmed by the smallest of brushes. 

As I’m washing my hands I look at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what the nervous feeling in my stomach is. I fix my hair and de-smudge my mascara, taking one more look at my outfit to make sure it’s okay. I walk back to the basement, thinking about how Jean’s hand felt. It was slightly rough, but I liked the feeling of his skin on mine. 

I step into the basement and make a beeline for the couch we were sitting on, only to find Jean and Marco in a conversation. I smile to myself, happy that Jean made a friend. 

“Y/n, how’re you finding the party?” I hear Eren’s voice as an arm lands on my shoulders. I turn to look at him and see him grinning at me, eyes rimmed with red.

“It’s going good, I think. People seem to be having fun,” I reply, shrugging out from under his arm. 

“Yeah, but are you having a good time?” Eren asks, leaning in closer to me. 

“Yes, Eren.” I say, rolling my eyes. Eren always does the same thing when he’s drunk, which is to try to hookup with anything closest to him. “Wait, I think someone’s messing with your punch,” I say, pretending to see something over his shoulder.

“WHAT!” Eren says, whirling around to see the punch assailant. I laugh as he almost falls over, trying desperately to see who could possibly be messing with his beloved punch. 

“Come on, idiot, get me a drink.” I say, pulling Eren over to a table covered in empty solo cups and bottles of liquor. We chat for a bit as I get a drink, until I feel someone nudge my arm. I turn to see Jean and Marco standing behind us, Marco holding a drink. I smile at Jean, happy to see him with a friend. He’s looking at me, and I see him look me up and down, eyebrows slightly raised. I space out for a minute as I realize Jean’s arm is lightly touching mine.

“We’re gonna go outside to smoke, you wanna come with?” Jean asks me in a low voice.

“No thanks, I’m not that big of a smoker,” I say, gesturing to the cup in my hand. 

“Ok, sure.” he says, giving me a small smile. 

“Come and find me when you’re done, okay?” I reply, smiling back.

“Of course. Wouldn't want to leave you all alone.” He says, winking. I feel him lightly touch the small of my back before he and Marco walk away. 

I feel my face burn as I watch them leave. Jean’s almost a head taller than everyone else, and my eyes trail him as they weave in and out of the crowd.

“Uhhhh, HELLO, EARTH TO Y/N,” I turn to see Eren pouting. 

“Sorry, what did you say?” I ask, snapping back to the conversation.

Eren sighs, waving his hand in dismissal. “Nothing. Making eyes at Jean, huh?” He winks at me, nudging my arm with his.

I roll my eyes, saying, “Eren, you think everyone wants to fuck each other.”

Eren pours himself another drink and says, “that’s usually because they do. But it's very interesting how you didn’t answer my question.” 

“Because it’s not true. Me and Jean are just friends. Coworkers.” 

Eren raises his eyebrows, looking dubious. “Okay...”

To escape his questioning gaze, I drag him over to where Mikasa and Armin are sitting. Eren and I collapse on the couch next to them and join their conversation. We sit and chat for a while as I sip my drink, feeling pleasantly drunk. A few minutes previously Eren had draped his arm on the back of the couch behind me, and I have to lean into him to hear Mikasa and Armin. 

“We’re back!” I hear Marco’s voice behind me and I turn around, seeing him and Jean. Jean grins at me, but I see his eyes fall to Eren’s arm around me and his smile falters ever so slightly. 

“Come join us!” I say, scooting over to make room for Jean on the couch. He squeezes in next to me, our sides pressed together to fit. I glance at him, meeting his eyes. They’re rimmed with red, and already looking at me. I smile and quickly look back down, blushing slightly. Jean’s hands are resting on his knees, and I think about how easy it would be to reach out and take it. “What am I saying,” I think. I need some air. I look back at Jean, asking, “wanna get out of here?”

He looks at me, surprised, then nods. “Sure.” 

We stand up and say our goodbyes to everyone. Eren makes a big fuss, lamenting the fact that we hadn’t gotten to dance at all. I laugh and promise him next time as we grab our coats and make our way to the door.

When we finally get outside the cold air soothes my head, which had begun to ache. I feel my cheeks, which are warm from the alcohol and the hot basement. 

“So… where do you wanna go?” Jean asks, watching me.

“Oh, there’s this diner a few blocks away that’s open 24 hours! We could chill there, if you want!” I reply. 

“Oh, sure. Sounds good.” Jean says. I think that I catch a momentary look of disappointment on his face, but I convince myself that I must have imagined it as he starts talking about the bookstore. 

We walk to the diner, caught up in our conversation about Dimo and his possible double life as an exotic dancer/club owner. We reach the nearly empty diner and slide into a booth. We both look at the menu for a moment, then agree on getting fries and a sundae. After giving the waitress our order, I sit back and try not to think about the fact that Jean’s leg is resting against mine under the table. 

“So how do you know Mikasa and… Eren, was it?” Jean asks, sitting back too. His leg nudges mine a bit and I feel a jolt of static go up my body from his touch.

“Mikasa and I have been friends since freshman year, and so I met Eren and Armin at about the same time. They’re pretty tight, Eren and Mikasa are like siblings.” 

“Oh, cool,” Jean says, then looks down at his hands resting on the table. “Sorry if this is weird or whatever, but… are you and Eren, like, together?” 

He looks up at me in surprise as I laugh, saying, “oh, god no. We sorta had a thing last year, but that was before I knew the real Eren, who literally has the same libido as a thirteen year old boy. So no, we aren’t together.” 

Jean smiles at me, nodding. I feel my stomach flip a little as he looks into my eyes with a strange searching expression. We both jump as the waitress comes back, placing a huge pile of fries and a mountain of a sundae in front of us. We eat, not saying much, but I find that silence with Jean isn’t like other awkward silences I’ve had to endure. Jean makes me feel comfortable, like I hadn’t felt in a while. His leg continues to press lightly against mine, and when he laughs his knee nudges me slightly. We finish most of the sundae, dipping the last few fries into the leftover melted ice cream. After the waitress clears everything away I stretch and check the time on my phone. 1:12. “Only seven hours ‘till my next class,” I think. I root around in my bag for my wallet as the waitress brings the check, but before I can dig out any cash Jean gives the waitress a $20. 

“Hey, dude, I was gonna split that with you.” I say, watching the waitress walk to the cash register. 

“Ah, well, you snooze you loose, I guess.” Jean says, shrugging into his coat.

“Well, thank you. I’ll get the next one.” I reply, standing up. I see Jean smile slightly as he gets up too. We walk outside, the freezing wind whipping against our backs. We walk back to my dorm in silence, walking quickly to escape the cold. Reaching my building, we run inside the lobby into the warmth, cursing the freezing weather. 

“Jesus fuck, it’s cold.” Jean says, rubbing his hands together to try to warm them up. 

“I know. Why I didn’t go to school in California, I don’t know.” I reply, stomping the snow off my boots. 

We walk down the hall to where my room is, me feeling slightly nervous. Should I invite him in? Is he expecting anything? What is he thinking?

I stop as we reach my door, and I grab my keys and unlock it. I turn around and give a start as I find Jean much closer than I expected. He’s looking down at me, one hand on the wall next to my head and the other in his pocket. I look up at him and see that his eyes are already on my face. My throat constricts as my mumble of “goodnight…” fades away. 

Is he going to kiss me? He’s so close… I can count every freckle on his nose, every drop of water on his eyelashes. 

I glance at his lips and feel my face grow warmer. But, before I can do anything, Jean smiles and stands up straight. 

“See you tomorrow, y/n.” He says softly before walking back down the halfway and out the door. 

I stand frozen for a moment, watching him leave. My breathing is shallow and my stomach is doing gymnastics. I force myself to move, and I shake my head and walk into my room. I lean against the door and press my hand against my burning cheek.

What the fuck was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for reading!!! I'll be coming out with more chapters soon, so stick with our manz Jean <3


	3. GOLD RUSH

The next morning I get ready for work, my mind racing. I can’t stop thinking about Jean.

Why didn’t he kiss me? Why didn’t I kiss him? Do I even want him to kiss me? Do I like him? Is he ever going to kiss me? What the fuck…  
These questions swirl around and around my head as I walk to the bookstore, my anxiety rising with every passing moment. 

“This is too much for me right now,” I think. “We’re just friends. That’s all.” 

I focus on the task at hand, which is helping set up for a book signing. This event had been planned months in advance, and it would be pretty shitty if I wasn’t doing my best because I was thinking about a boy. Finals are also coming up in a few days, and God knows I’m gonna need to be able to focus on that. 

I walk into the bookstore and am immediately called over by Dimo. Jean is standing there as well, and I smile at him as I approach. I feel my belly flip over as he smiles back, then remember my promise to myself. I won’t allow myself to be distracted from my work. 

Dimo gives us our jobs for the day, and naturally Jean and I are paired together to watch over the author and make sure he has everything he needs. The author doing the signing is some guy named Erwin Smith who writes sci-fi novels. We chat with him for a couple of minutes, helping him set up. 

After about 15 minutes, Dimo opens the store. Jean and I are sitting a little behind the signing table, watching people come up and get their books. I look over at Jean and see him lounging on his chair, arms behind his head. He looks pretty bored, and I think about what would be the best thing to say. Should I talk about last night? Should I just pretend like nothing happened?

‘Nothing even happened,’ I remind myself. Before I can say anything at all, I hear Jean speak up next to me. 

“Have you read any of this guy’s stuff?” 

I see him nod to Erwin Smith, who is surrounded by people talking. I shake my head, turning back to Jean. 

“I’ve heard his stuff is good, but I’ve never really been one for sci-fi,” I say.

“Yeah, me neither. We can’t let Dimo hear us say that, though.” Jean drops his voice conspiratorially, “or he might lock us in the basement and leave us for Emily.”

I giggle, then pretending to see someone over Jean’s shoulder, I say, “Oh, hey Dimo!”

Jean’s face drops and he whips around, looking for Dimo. He’s about twenty feet away, still at his same spot in the front of the store. 

Jean turns back to me and swats me on the arm, saying, “What the hell!! You freaked me out, you asshole!!” 

Laughing, I swat him back. “You make it too easy!”

I watch him laugh, and I notice that he has a habit of pushing his hair back from his face. It’s golden and catches the light nicely, looking like silk in his hands. He catches my eye, and I look quickly away. I can feel my face burning and I determinedly look back at my schoolwork, trying to distract myself. I feel Jean’s eyes still on me, but I don’t turn to look. I need to focus. I need to focus…

For the next hour or so we watch customers come and go, joking occasionally about their life stories, Dimo’s probable love affair with the ghost of Emily Dickinson, and other interesting and hilarious topics. At a certain point Jean asks if I have paper, and I give him a post-it and a pencil. 

“When does our shift end? I know Dimo had the weekend people come in to help out,” Jean asks. 

“It ends at 2:00, so in like 20 minutes.” I reply. I go back to writing a paper for class and silently stressing about finals. I feel Jean tap me after about 15 minutes. Looking over at him, I see he’s holding out the post-it to me, grinning. I take it and see a small sketch of myself on it. It’s good. Pretty damn good. 

“Holy shit, Jean. This is amazing!! But wha… I thought you just did art history?” I exclaim, looking at him. 

“I may have left out the painting minor. This sketch isn’t that great, though. It would be better if I had more time.” He replies, still grinning. 

I stare at the drawing, noticing how much shading is on my cheeks, clearly indicating my chronic blushing. Jean has drawn my face soft, with a little crinkle between my eyebrows. I’m also biting my lip, which I do when I’m concentrating. I guess that’s what I look like doing work…

“I love it, Jean. Thank you.” 

I look back up again and see him watching me. I feel my ears and face start getting warm again. He opens his mouth to say something, but a loud voice interrupts him. 

“Alright you two, you’re done for today. Other shift is here.” Dimo is walking towards us followed by two of the other employees. 

I quickly grab my stuff and walk to the back room where my coat and bag are. Jean follows me, and we both put on our coats without talking much. Walking outside, the cold air hits my face and I breathe it in deep. With all of the stressing I’ve been doing, it’s been hard to stop and appreciate the air. I hear Jean come out of the store and turn to say goodbye. He’s walking up to me, ruffling his hair, and I’m struck yet again by the way his hair looks in the sun. It looks so soft. He smiles at me, brown eyes twinkling. I feel my stomach flutter and I have to look away. Worry about this after finals. 

“Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?” Jean asks, looking down at me.

“Nah, that’s okay, I’m gonna go to the library anyway to study.” I answer. 

“‘Kay. Guess I’ll see you later, then. Right?” 

“Right.” I say, smiling. 

I watch Jean walk away, putting in his headphones as he goes. I walk towards the library, head full of thoughts. I can’t like Jean. We only just met. We’re friends. And anyways, it would be weird to date a coworker. And he’s probably not even interested. Fuck. I have to focus on school.

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Get ready for speecy spice coming up ;)


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